Thwarted by the peel

OK, so we've all witnessed the seen arms, hands, legs, and feet flailing, the person looking like they are slipping and sliding on the most hilarious of cartoon banana peels (and, yes it has got to be a cartoon banana peel) the real kind just are not funny. You don't want to laugh, said person has just bit the dust, and what ever contents they were previously carrying are now sailing through the air just about to crash into their head, and said person may be hurt, but the ghastly sight of it all is simply too much to keep in and the roar in your belly must be released...

Well I admit I have been on the receiving end of your uproarious belly roar of laughter more times than I care to remember. But, that's OK I totally forgive you and I understand. In your line of sight I'd probably do the same.

I don't know why, but that invisible cartoon banana peel has been following me around for years and it gets me every time!!!! And, I swear there are cartoon critters in an alter universe watching my little dances with the peel if you will squealing and roaring with laughter.

What? You don't believe me?! Well, just let me share an incident or two from the vault. OK, so there was the time I was getting off a public bus groceries in tow, when yes, the invisible cartoon banana peel makes its appearance. I'm slipping and sliding down the bus isle, onlookers horrified-- I may land on them, but ah alas I gain my balance and composure. But nay, it wasn't to last. The person behind me was also thwarted by the peel. Careening toward me in a last ditched effort to save grace if not life and limb, said passenger grasps for anything to break the inevitable fall. Reaching reaching he lays hold of all his fingers can grasp--- hmp! The back of my skirt! That's right I said my skirt! The next thing you know we are engaged in a shared dance of the peel tumbling, and skittering forward landing in a heap at the front of the bus, and the waist of my skirt is more than half way down my thighs! THWARTED BY THE PEEL!

And then there was the time I was walking in a beautiful and may I add very crowded courtyard. And of course the sun was shining and the birds were singing- glorious, glorious day. I was even wearing the cutest of spring outfits, a billowing peasant skirt and blouse. Hmmp! I take one step and wouldn't you know it the invisible banana peel is at it again. Arms and legs flailing, me at the top of my lungs, "WHOA!WHOA!WHOA!" bomp-bomp-bomp, and next thing you know I've tumbled down several steps and landed at the bottom with yes, my lovely peasant skirt draped over my head! Oh, sure you'd think the humiliation would end there, but no the skirt was a tangle and it was a huge struggle just to get the darn thing sorted and back in place. And oh the whoops and cheers! Did anyone bother to ask if I was OK? Of course not, so what is a girl to do? Although a tad scraped and bruised I took my bow to the delight and cheer of all onlookers.

And these are but a very very small sampling of my dance with the peel. So ,hubby being keen to my lengthy and frequent relationship with the peel has sworn me from all power tools. Well so be it!

So a few months back we were preparing to put our home on the market to sell. The bathroom needed priming for some texturing and I'm thinking "I'm just the gal to do it"

Jesse: on the other hand is like " I don't think that is such a great idea. We both know your track record"

Me: "puh-leeez! It's just a gallon of primer and a paint brush. No real tools involved. What could possibly go wrong?"

Jesse: "Don't even get me started! No, way I'll do it"

Me: "You're real busy right now, and wouldn't it be great to take one more thing off your to do list? I can totally handle this. No problemo."

Jesse: hand cupped on chin giving it some real consideration. "You sure you can handle it.?"

Me: "Like I said, no problemo." insert huge grin here

Jesse" hmm- OK!"

forward to a few days later: I've got my bucket of primer and brush. I don't need a ladder, because the bathroom is too small. I'm using the toilet seat, and for that matter the tank is the perfect spot for my bucket of primer. Well scratch that if the primer is on the tank I won't be able to reach it as well. And, a drop cloth? Pft! Who needs that? Those are for messy people. I plan to be super careful.

Dip, dab, brushstroke, repeat. The walls are looking great and I'm thinking "Dang this is easy! I am gooooood! Just wait till----WHOA!WHOA!WHOA!" kerplucnk and splat!!!! Yep, by now you are familiar with the dance- THWARTED BY THE PEEL!!! Totally slipped off and banged my head on the side of the toilet, twisted my ankle and yes thick gooey primer all over the toilet, tile floor, tub, and cabinets. In a frenzy I grab what I can find-a stack of thick lush brand new bath towels! And I went through all of them in a matter of minutes. Jesse is off on an errand with Daniel and I am expecting them back at any moment! The evidence- have got to get rid of the evidence! Those towels easily fill a large trash bag! Mad dash to the garage to dispose of any and all clues of primer incident. Upon my exit from garage, my guys drive up-Phew!!!!! That was a close one.

Jesse: "So, how is it going?"

Me: wave of the hand "Ah, you know me?"

Jesse: "Yes, I do. So, how is it going and why are you limping?"

Me: "A better question is how does the bathroom look?

Jesse: "What? You're finished?"

Me: "Like I said no problemo. Go take a lookie see for your self"

Jesse: "Great! Well sorry I doubted you."

Me: Just smiling and trying not to look too guilty.

So, it's months later and the house is sold, we have moved and Jesse still has no clue.

And, just an aside and by the way today just seconds after taking the photo for this blog entry the tripod and camera went crashing to the ground! And our $500 camera is in ugly pieces! THWARTED BY THE PEEL? I'm not saying...