Finally the time has arrived

After visiting a biological relative of Fikir's in Awassa and a great tour of historic sites in northern Ethiopia, the time had arrived to finally pick-up my daughter. There was some concern from Alemu with me being solo with Fikir for four days before leaving for Michigan. This also being complicated by new rules in Ethiopia that adoptive families avoid traveling in public with their adopted children--and instead stay in their hotel-- as there was concern over the impression Ethiopians may have seeing Ethiopian babies taken by foreigners. As far as impressions go, I was never shy about why I was in Ethiopia when asked, and the response I received about my adopting was universally positive. In fact one Ethiopian physician I met on the plane going to Ethiopia kept saying over and over, "You are saving that girl's life. You are saving her life!" Well, that's pretty dramatic sounding and may or may not be true but her life span and quality of life is likely to be dramatically different than it would have been (The average life span in Ethiopia is 49 years with over half the population below 16). I'll confess, I'm not doing this for charity, but because Charlotte and I really enjoy being parents. It's just a bonus to think we're helping this little person out in such a big way.

Anyway, I had the option of getting Fikir the day of my embassy appointment so that Fikir and I would be together only three days before travel. I contemplated doing this thinking it may be very traumatic for Fikir to be with some red haired white man stuck in a hotel for four days and away from her friends at the orphanage. After giving it some thought and weighing my trepidation at her reaction with how much I wanted to finally see her, I told Alemu I wanted to get her the day before the embassy appointment. He gave me one of those hesitation answers saying, "If that is what you want to do." I was a little nervous because I had heard that a good friend of Fikir's at the orphanage who was adopted, with the group that I should have been with nearly two weeks earlier, cried incessantly and Fikir cried at the leaving of her friend.

Well the day arrived and we drove down a dirt road with giant pot holes full of water and mud to a iron gate in an alley way. We honked and the gate was opened upon a small parking area under clothes lines full of children's clothes. I was escorted into the Orphanage Director's office and met a Social Worker who told me he had worked with Fikir and showed her the books we had sent and explained the situation to her. As we were talking I saw a shadow of one of the ladies at the orphanage holding the hands of two little ones approaching the door. I said, "Is that Fikir?" He said yes, so I asked two of the gentlemen there to use my video and digital camera to capture the moment.


I crouched down as Fikir approached and held a sock doll Charlotte asked me to give her on behalf of her and Daniel since they could not be there. Fikir, in all her cuteness, walks up and has the best poker face I ever saw. She doesn't look me in the eye except fleetingly and then looks away. I told her, in my best Amharic, "I am your Daddy. You are my daughter. I love you. I love you very much." I picked her up and walked to the orphanage where the other children were. She had a little friend with her so I picked him up to. The Social Worker showed me her bed which had some tattered toys and several of the toys we had sent. I set her and then her friend up on her bed. I played out one of my routines for entertaining kids: the balloon cheeks that you can move from side to side with your fingers and then "pop". This captured her interest briefly.

She wanted down, so I obliged and continued with my tour of the small orphanage. She was never far away. The other children were fascinated with me and wanted to get my attention and show me this or that. They sang me songs in Amharic and broken English. One little girl, who was also a friend of Fikir's, came up and tugged at my shirt. I reached down to pick her up, but then over rushes Fikir and pushes her hand away and says something to her friend in Amharic. The translator told me Fikir had said to her friend, "Don't take my Daddy!" I was shocked to hear she already saw me as Daddy. It warmed my heart.

That is pretty much how it has gone since. The time in the hotel was great. We had fun and laughed and played. People would ask, "How long has she been with you?" When I would say, they were shocked saying "She seems very comfortable with you." I think we can give a lot

of credit to the Social Worker for going through the books we sent and to Charlotte for doing such a great job on the books. During my time with Fikir in the hotel, she never wanted to leave those books and carried them in her little backpack where ever we went. She was always showing them to me, the hotel staff and looking at them on her own. She was very popular at the Desalegn. One of the hotel staff, who also had a young daughter, even made her a necklace.

The flight home was about 18 hours, but counting layovers it amounted to about 31 hours. Fikir did better than I did. She slept great on the plane and had boundless energy at all other times. When we finally arrived in Traverse City I couldn't wait to see Charlotte and Daniel. I had never been away this long from Daniel. I had to wait my turn as they couldn't wait to see Fikir. Within a few minutes Daniel and Fikir were chasing and batting a balloon Daniel had brought to the airport and laughing like crazy. It was great to see. I don't want to jinx it and say, "...and they lived happily ever after", but it sure feels that way.